Honestly, in this point in my life. I am can say I am transitioning into real adulthood. It takes alot of bullshit to get you to the point where you are like. Damn, shit is changing. Fast. If you choose to take the high road and start really living. Doesn't make sense? Let me explain. You can be alive and not living life due to many reasons. Family, friends, your job, your student loans, your depression, your pain. There can be a million reasons or excuses you can use to prevent you from living life. The real horror is that we refuse to acknowledge the smallest things that really MAKE life worth living.

I feel like I have spent more time lying to myself, and running from the solutions instead of creating a new movement. I think alot of time we discouraged by the things that we are scared to take on. And alot of time you don't realize the negative entities that are keeping you complacent. I think I should stop here.

peace.

Since everyone wants to hop on the train to hell and discuss women and their short comings all the fucking time. Like men or women are walking around being some sort of savory sense of anything less that WHAT they ARE or ARE NOT.

Things That Are Unattractive About Men.


1) Over-Confidence.
Who told you that your were a force to be reckon with? Anybody can put on skinny jeans have a African Friend with a credit card get you VIP service in Atlanta Elite NightClub Pictures. Confidence is fine. Over doing it. IS NOT.

2) Musty Dick Dave WHO always Expects Fellations.
I know too many negros who are still just washing they chest in the shower and forgetting the other body parts. And just when you thought you had waited two whole weeks to give MR.MUSTY DICK some pussy. His dicknballs smells like Similac. And still expects most women to be cool with that. Half of you don't even do enough to deserve the pussy. LET ALONE SOME BRAIN. Cause you thinking outside of your box.

3) Yo MONEY this...
Great handclap for you to be making MONEY. Why are you proud about some shit a 32year grown ass man needs to be doing anyways. Why do you feel you need verification about some coins? Its always the term 'money' being thrown around in your conversation leads me to believe you really ain't got the shit. Cause...WHAT'S KNOWN DOESN'T NEED TO BE DISCUSSED.

4) ROOMATES!
Its a little past unsavory to find out two grown ass men that are not in college, got kids and girlfriends. Are living with each other. If you are not enrolled to a university. NOT community college. There is no reason for you to be sleeping in the same house with another GROWN ass man. For what reason? You should be at the point where you are financially stable enough to pay rent for yourself. If not Use the same excuse every other negro does. "I got my mom living with me cause I wanted to help her out" And I guess you decorated this Home & Garden ass Bathroom too?

5) Excuses...SOUND like lies.
You always ALWAYS. Got an excuse for everything. And to be honest. IT SOUNDS LIKE A DAMN LIE. Why must you always have a rebuttal for simple shit.

"I had a missed call from you david."
"Oh, I had called you cause I didn't know how to work my thing"
"What?,"
"The uh, wifi thing in the box I couldn't make it to your house cause my car caught on fire"
"Did you end up dying in the fire too?"
"No."

6) BabyMOMS & Kids
Okay. I ain't a total bitch. There is a life before me and there will be one after. But here are some issues i have. About 89% of you negros, swear that YOU and the baby moms are not getting along. Or whatever the case may be but you are still in these secret relationships with this woman or still beating down the block every chance you get which would lead me to believe that you are STILL in denial. Finish your situation before trying stick your dick in everything that walks. Its fine to fall out of love, you lose interest etc... But do it the right way. I don't want to be involved in your messy bullshit. And I don't need somebody calling me about they damn babydaddy.

NOW kids. Why don't you take care of your kids? You sit and talk about how much you love em, all the money you spend child support. But you got like one picture from 6 years ago and he is 19 now. I mean really. If you cannot take the effort to get involved in your child life, what makes me think THAT you can be responsible enough to carry on a relationship with me?

7) I know more than ANYBODY cause I DONE everything!
Good for you. Every time i say something its no surprise you done been there done that..
"I used to dance naked in the sand"
YOU: "I dance naked on the ocean in Cali yo"
Bitch boo bye! You aint cultured cause you went to the beach! CUTITOUT. Just because you have been living life doesn't make you MORE wise, MORE efficient or more KNOWLEDGEABLE. So just cut the damn Taye Diggs acting shit out.

8) My CAR is in the shop ass nigga.
You don't have a car neither do i. So lets head over to metro and get these bus passes. You ain't got to lie. TO KICK IT.

9) Outdated.
Everything about your ass is screaming 1998. Please go on ahead. and STOP.

10) You want a Bentley bitch but you a Chevy Aveo ass NEGRO.
This is pretty self explanatory it goes out to about 99% of men I know.

11) Rappers. Overseas Sports Athletes, NWM.
OH you a rapper?! or famous because you got a twitter or myspace. Die slow.

12) The Neverending Saga
Oh woe is me! Oh my life my hardships, my pain, MY sorrow. YOU are a poetically unjustifiable ass runaway. You think me feeling sorry for you is about to help you get some pussy. It isn't.

13) Self RIGHTEOUS MR KNOW IT ALLS.
you met this man before. He has all the answers to nothing. Instead of being a man. He hides in sheeps clothing and fancy words. He claims to have a right of passage that is a KNOWLEDGE but his brain is about the closet thing to ignorance then the twel-ellebin hunnid mother fucking dollars you accept from a multi-millionaire. These are the men that get in private and wanna dog you out cause you don't want to give them ass. But in the same breath sit and preach that women have no morality, or guidance. Yeah. I am damn sick of NIGGERS like Cthegod. Why would you characterize your self with a name like 'god' you are barely even credible enough to touch the collection plate, but god? Yeah. RIGHT. These are the same men that have no problem wrapping their mouths around a mans dick in private. SUBMISSIVE MEN. YOU JUST TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS AND SILLY FONT. A real man has positive uplifting things to say about the counterpart that is a woman. NOT every opportunity that you receive you BELITTLE them but these are the same women who try to support you because WE try to reach deep down and believe that you CAN BE THE VOICE OF REASON. Most of the time you all end up disappointing us. You give us AIDS from sleeping around, you DECREASE our population because you kill us with cancers you create in our breasts and hearts from the pain you cause. We LOVE you men to the end and all you can sit around and do is call us basic and belittle and DISRESPECT US. I will not stand for it. You are the same men that have black women dying their hair blonde and denying their race because the YEARN for your approval.
You have them wearing curly hair and checking biracial. YOU have them stuffing implants in their cheasts. You have them LAYING on a table injecting their asses. all because BLACK WOMEN want to be everything you want us to be. I won't can't and DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR STANDARDS. You want us to do do DO. Worry about your damn self. I don't say shit when I see you not paying your taxes, or when you ain't taking care of your kids, or when your out here killing your brothers, or when your selling dope on the corner to someones, mother or father. BUT you are a messiah of knowledge? You types are vile and beneath every woman i know. And I pray you mothers can forgive your sorry asses.

This morning was rough. I cried a lot. I know it's hard to understand why someone who seems 'tough' is melting down as adults, I think we all get to the point where situations become clearer and everything makes sense after breaking things down in their perspective order. No-one wants to lead a life of sadness, No-one wants to finish last place. The reality is all of us aren't built to be the best. Some people are just mediocre cause they allow themselves to be. Some just can't past all of the things that make it 'hard to get over'. I know me, I cannot allow myself not to be the best. Even it takes me 30 years to be the best me. I can be satisfied. Cause I worked hard to be the best. I have been struggling to understand why I am here. What is my purpose? The more I look around the less support and love, I have from the people I put my all into. I told my 'love' I cannot help that I care, as much as I say "IMMA BE MEAN" "FUCK THE WORLD" unfortunately I don't have it in me to actually feel that way. I care about everyone. I am always being considerate. I always try to do what I can to help anyone that needs it. That is just the type of person I am. Everyone needs support even if it just mental. We all need it. It builds the person, not making you but its a big part in forming you. With high hopes I get tired of saying "Ima be optimistic!' But for what? Being optimistic is a cop out. You don't need optimism you need motivation to get you to where you wanna be. I thin k alot of times we say stuff like that with a cloud of doubt surrounding it. All my life by everyone I have been treated like the so-so family pet. I am loved.Often forgot about, Ignored, the same love i show them they do not show it back if i get hoit or bit. It's always "You'll Be Alright!" and i am being ignored all over again. I have tried to over look the fact that my family treats me this way. My entire life I have been shuffled from home to home. And people acting as if I was a pest. Just a child. With a bad parent. It seems like my entire life has been on false hopes. So what is what everyone would say. pain is still pain and its has and NAME cause it doesn't feel good. Everyone has become "Condoms" its safe to tellme or someone some corny qote or message "its ok" "everyone goes thru it" DAMN that shit. Hit me with the truth. I am tired of quotes. I NEED SOLUTION. I wish people cared about me the same WAY i extend myself out. NOW i have nothing left of me. And that is why I say I am losing touch with myself.