As time progresses I always look back into myself and pinpoint the things I need to change. I think when we get older sometimes we get reluctant to change our schedule. What's in place is there for a reason?! Not always. There are so many things I need to focus on about ME. I often find myself stuck in-be-twinst procrastination and other shit. Both have been enemies that been sticking around it's like you are sitting alone fighting yourself. I just wanted to always be myself and express who I am but even words and actions and can be misunderstood....How do I grow?

I don't need you to tell me what YOU feel you know.
I will fight always.
I don't need validation or a crowd.
I am a sinner but my intent is always good.

Letting go is easy to do when you TRULY know that the crowd never been with you but LAUGHING their asses off at you.

22.Flu.Dueces.

I have come in contact with so many young talented women. Everyone is on the quest to find themselves on this journey we call "Life". I mean I have been blessed to even have contact with some of the MOST amazing people. I think that really. It gives you a different perspective on things when you can get a glimpse of something, and someone else. Not the form of imitation but I would say the opportunity to explore what others are facing in this challenging time(s) Of womanhood. I guess we are supposed to be mourning over the loss of the 'blackmenthatdontwantus'.

What is the standing factor in your life that makes you DECIDE that to overcome is what ULTIMATELY be the biggest and entire goal. Some days I want to paint some days I want to draw. Some days I want to lay by my windowseal and write poetry. In a perfect world we would be able to do the things we love. But its became so much of survival the of the fittest. You can't enjoy the things you love. The things that make you happy. Cause you gotta work. My life becoming filled up with 'work'. Everyone suggests I should do this. Or that. Or this or that. I am good at doing a LOT of stuff. But that doesn't mean I am mentally or physically able to do everything. I just know honestly. Being an 'employee' Is not really my tea. I cannot picture myself. As that being my final destiny. Like damn..That's it? Work for the state. Your bills. And how do your reward yourself. With saying 'I got my own'? Who gives a shit? I want to reward myself with really saying. I OWN MY OWN.

The best reward is shit that is PAID FOR.

I want to shed some knowledge on some flawless women. Who I am so glad I had the chance, blessing, honor, of running into to. I am linking them at giving the information cause these are most definitely people you should know. My year has been a blessing because of each one of them.

No particular order. So Please don't DO ME. As my loved one would say:

Jorielle
If you look up flawless and witty you will find her picture. This girl at such a young age. Holds wisdom beyond her years. Sometimes I ask her for advice. She is just her. And that is something YOU have to just love.

Cserena
Girl. GIRL you really are just a all around nice girl. There is not a single flaw. You always have such a posititve attitude. And You are really beating to your own drum. Really Special person to me. When I felt like quitting you said " GIRL NO!"
lots of love for you.


Jewel
Now we been through so much. We been tight from beginning to end. Im glad your getting married. Im glad for my two beautiful best friends that are your daughters. Thank GOD for you dropping knowledge.

Zeralyn
My ace. I never thought in a million years. I would fall in love again. I mean. This is the mirror image. She speaks her mind. But understands the beauty of individuality. Some times i want to choke the shit outta her. But i love her.


Christine
This woman has captivated me. Her blog is everything. She is just raw. Not nasty raw. But the beautiful raw that is something makes you say.. I understand. This is what I been trying to say. You look at her and say. This is what every one should inspire towards..


Loany
I have a funny story about how we met. She is dope. And so am I. This girl is going to be something special. She is everything but cliche. If i was asked to describe her in one word. Circle. Evolutionary and never-ending.


Nancy
There has been long nights where i bet Nancy said. I wish this bitch would JUST go to sleep. But she will stay. And make me smile. I got that ole school love for you...


Krissy
To be honest. This GIRL upon first sight. Is a straight Halle Berry. But the fact that she is hilarious, sweet, and just honestly a good all around girl. Makes me so happy I met her.


Madison
Girl. My sister my heart. My nearest and dearest. I love her. This is the EPITOME of real. I know she would do anything for me and vice versa. I wouldn't trade you for anything. She is goal-orientated and NEVER gives up no matter what obstacles in her way. When I think the world has given up on me. She is nudging me in the shoulder telling me to keep pushing.


Lynn
Me and this girl have been thru highs and lows. No matter what we have had each others back. This is someone I wouldn't trade for the world.





Im not done. Just give me a second. Im too drunk for this. Amen.

-first things, 1st I would like to thank @justnancyp (via twitter) for this subject.

What I am about to do is really brave, but its needed to free a part of myself. To release the sadness, to overcome the obstacles, To honestly be THE best me, I figure I would have to break down the issues. Ask For Help, except criticism. Love myself enough TO truly love and appreciate my dreams.



I can do so many things but for some strange reason I am so scared of me. I say I want these things but why not strive to be the best and make the best happen with these things?

Pros and Cons. Fears and Sorrows. Friends and Foes. HATE that i LOVE to hate YOU.